my statement on recent events

serveral months ago, i (and my family) barely survived a natural disaster that left me vulnerable and traumatized. i needed people to depend on, and all of my irl friends were also struggling with getting things back together as most of them were also affected one way or another. online, i befriended some people who also liked Weird Music (or music that most didn't) and even though they were kinda rude to me, i ended up becoming genuinely connected to these people. over time ive grown distant to the majority of them who just dont really align with my sense of humor or were just plain rude. around late sep/early oct i had sun (Astylar), rifle (fusil) and alice/zoe (wherethewildthingsare fka compendium and a few other usernames) in a server along with a few others. everything came crashing down on september 26th 2023 when someone came out to me and revealed that zoe had made horrific jokes about rape and abuse, along with posting pornography in a server where it was not allowed. i also had an experience with zoe where he said i was ugly (based off a picture of 10-year-old me i had accidentally posted) and fat and he ranked the appearances of everyone in the server and said i was the ugliest. i have no proof of that other than word-of-mouth so feel free to take that with a grain of salt, but im just sharing my experience, not asking anyone to believe me.